Bridal party at the signing of the register
Sensitivity in the family may be caused through parents separating or feuds within the family for example. This can be a real issue for your wedding day and affect your wedding photography.
During our free wedding consultation I always ask whether any sensitivities within the families. As your wedding photographer it’s important to know in order to avoid problems with your family group photos.
You may wish to have your family group shots taken in a specific order. For example, have a family photograph together with your natural parents and then individually with their current partners. However there may be rare occasions when this is not possible – and I need to be aware.
Wedding tips on how to handle sensitivity in your family
My stepmother broke up my parents’ marriage. Can I ban her from the wedding photos?
Explain your feelings to your father. You should be sensitive to his feelings as well. If he insists that she is present – agree on how to organise your family photos so that the “mums” are not placed together. Let your wedding photographer know what you have agreed. It may just be an extra picture swapping the mums round especially for your father.
My mum wants to bring her new boyfriend. But my dad won’t pay if she comes. Help!
It is up to you to be the mature one in this triangle of conflict. If your mother has just left your father for her new man, it would embarrass your father. And would be reasonable to ask your mother to not bring him to your wedding. On the other hand if your parents split up a long time ago, you need to reason with your father. If he refuses to budge, your mother may be able to help you financially. Or perhaps you can down scale your wedding to bring it within a budget you can afford? Maybe your father would prefer to help with a gift towards your honeymoon? Then he would not feel that your mother and new boyfriend benefit.
My parents won’t tolerate being near each other. What can I do?
Plan your wedding so that your parents are not forced to come together. At the ceremony, you could seat the parent who raised you in the first pew and the other in the third. Arrange with your wedding photographer to take two sets of your family group photographs – one with each parent present. At the reception, arrange for each parent to host on separate tables.
How can I honour my step-parents at my wedding? I’m close to both of them.
Ask an usher to walk your stepmother to her seat just before your mother and stepfather are seated. Alternatively, ask if she would like to give a reading during the ceremony. At one of my weddings the stepfather brought the bride to the ceremony and then her father walked her down the aisle. You could also share the father-daughter dance and have a dance with both of them.
My divorced parents get along brilliantly. Can they stand in the receiving line together?
Of course, as long as they agree there is no reason not to stand them together. They would only be separated traditionally because of possible awkwardness between them. It could also create confusion with guests who may think they have got back together. If you have step-parents include them as well.
Are the numbers getting out of control? If you have a lot of guests you may want to limit your receiving line to just you, your husband and bridesmaids to help speed up the process.
I don’t get on with my step-sister. Do I have to invite her?
It’s your wedding day, you can invite who you wish. HOWEVER, you could cause an ongoing rift in your family! It is probably best to invite her and plan your day so that you keep separated. For example, she does not need to be a bridesmaid or sit at the head table with you during the reception.
All the wedding guests in the big group wedding shot
Pat
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